Choices at Home

I’ve been trying to write about coming home and it isn’t working. It is the big event in my life at present, and seems natural to discuss. Thing is, I don’t know if there is anything to discuss. It has only been a day so far, and maybe some things of greater concern will spring to life in the coming weeks, but, as of now, I’m just home again. I have returned just as I have before and intend to do again in the future.

There have been no surprises, other than the clear lack of surprises. I expected something to change. I expected to feel something dramatically different in the way of life for me in Hampden, Massachusetts. Maybe, I thought, it would be a change in my perspective of the traveling I’ve done. Maybe this visit home would make me long for a more permanent return. But, there have been no such temptations as of yet.

I still have many friends I intend to see, but I’m managing things similar to the way I would in Japan. I still have English students I’ll be tutoring online, still will set aside time to study Japanese, and I still want to devote significant time to reading and writing. Life hasn’t changed, there has only been a shift in the nuances of location.

Part of me still expects there to be some revelations in my time back home, but my focus is on making time for people around what would be a somewhat typical schedule of studying, teaching, and writing. I know I won’t have time to do all the things and see all the people I would like to, and I expect I will find myself making some choices I would rather not.

I know there will be time to work on these projects when I return to Japan, and I feel I should focus on dedicating my time to the people I will be unable to see when I leave. Yet, I don’t want to let my focus waiver. This promises to be a unique challenge of balance. Challenge accepted.


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